here i am in gym, first day of swimming, i'm taking my day off.
is that mandie with the same suit as me? mmm i think it is.
okay so paul's still hanging around. he comes to library with us, he visits me at my bus, we talk online. today he's skipping BOCES and going home, but coming back to see me at lunch, going home again, (he doesn't like pep rallies), and coming back to see me at my bus and go to bowling practice. paul's nice and funny and cool... and he thinks i'm like the greatest thing ever... so i'm giving it a chance... but i don't know that i really want this right now, i've got other stuff to deal with. now i totally understand the eva and neil thing: paul is nice, and he likes me. i think he's okay, and the attention is flattering. but i don't really want to make the effort- go places and do things, and have him around all the time. i find myself making excuses, like being tired or sick. exactly like eva! now i'm not saying this is how it was with her, i don't really know, its just my theory. i understand it better now. i think i'll go a bit longer with how things are now, and see how it goes. i just don't want to hurt his feelings! we're going to the football game tomorrow night, and he's only going because i want to go- he hates spirit and pep rallies and cheerleaders and all that.
joe asked me to go to the game last night! i thought he didn't like me anymore! but he started talking to me online (i had sent out a thing about a petition for gay rights marriages). he asked if i was going to the game and i said yes, then he asked if i wanted a date. so i had to turn him down and tell him i was going with paul. and i felt so bad!! but at least this time i have a good excuse.
i think i like vinny!! ahh go away!
why do gym teachers always seem to have phones? i just kinda noticed that, like during bowling and swimming.
oh i'm horribly lazy!! i have oceanography and film studies to do! but i'm writing here instead. oh well, that's what study hall is for.
lindsay stepped on my hand this morning!!
also, i have the most uninteresting things to say!! but now that i've gotten it out of the way, we can get down to business- what this journal is really about!
this week has been good so far except for monday when i had those 2 pieces of pizza. plus i've ben sick, so i really think i've lost. i'll hopefully be able to weigh tomorrow, i haven't done it in awhile. i have been losing, all (except arms but who cares?) measurements have generally gone down. "slow but steady wins the race"- words to live by! i'm not really in a hurry (most of the time), and its better to do it this way. i even feel thinner, although i don't look it. i wish i didn't have to work for it of course, but this isn't so bad. it's just too bad i couldn't be like kristy, she's as thin as alicia or more.
ooh senior pictures today! and i don't know what to wear! and my hair is still blue/green/grey! ohh please let them turn out okay! i always look bad in pictures anyway, my skin if horrific. i got my hair cut tuesday, and renee couldn't do anything for the colors. she put long layers in, which was supposed to help a bit, but i'm not sure it did. she could have stripped all the color and then re-dyed it, but that would have been too much trouble, and could have damaged my hair even more. i'll just have to live with it. i don't mind except for senior pictures! ohhh, not fair!!